Monday 15 August 2011

Without heart we would be mere machines.

For you... x

As I was in the kitchen this evening and advert blared from the television in the lounge. I carried on absent-mindedly drying the dishes and didn’t really pay attention at first. From what I gathered the advert was for a car. I heard a huge intake of breath from my Dad and turned round to see what all the fuss was about. It turned out that this advert was for an Alfa Romeo Guilietta and it featured the car zipping around a country road with a heavily made up Uma Thurman behind the wheel, driving and being...well...Uma Thurman.

Now I’m being a bit controversial here but I’m not into cars. I literally don’t know anything about them. A friend of mine raves to me about the latest models that have come out. Excitedly describing (in excruciating detail) the design, the handling detail, fuel economy and most importantly the speed. He’s a very good friend so I try my hardest to at least look like I’m taking it all in but in reality a car is a car to me. The advert came to a dramatic end with the car stopping to an abrupt halt and the white slogan fading onto the dark background. What was written, really stuck with me.

‘Without heart we would be mere machines.’

As I finished the dishes I thought it over.

I am a firm believer that it is our hearts and the ability to love and be love which make our lives what they are. At the moment my heart belongs to someone very special and today being our 8 month anniversary it seemed appropriate to blog about him. So if you’re opposed to PDA, avert your eyes now!

So I’ll take you back 8 months. As we were getting ready to go out I felt a sense of dread, I don’t really know why but I just really wasn’t in the mood to go. I’d had a horrible day. I’d been so busy that I’d barely sat down. I also got some marks back from a piece of coursework that I’d handed in and as my teacher had written on the paper, the essay ‘had not reflected my best work.’ I was grumpy and just wanted an early night. My flatmate, however, had other things on her mind. ‘You’re only young once Rach’, she’d repeated over and over again. I sighed and, knowing she wouldn’t give in, I sloped off to get some dinner. I really dragged my feet getting ready. I took an extra long shower and then sat on my bed in my towel, staring at the ceiling for at least 20 minutes before she came storming back in and shouted I had 1 hour to be dressed, drunk and out the door.

The night dragged. I watched my flatmate dancing on the dancefloor and sat grumpily on the chair at the bar hoping that getting drunk would help my mood. It didn’t. I saw a friend on a sofa in the corner and went to talk to him. As we chatted his friend came over and he was HAMMERED. I don’t ever think that I’d ever seen anyone as drunk in my life and that was saying something as I wasn’t feeling that fresh myself. He sat on the arm of the chair and chatted to both of us until my friend decided to leave. I debated whether to go, I didn’t know this guy and my flatmate would be wondering where I was. But oddly this was the most fun I’d had in a very long time. He made me laugh and he felt familiar, like I’d known him forever so I decided to stay.

I would never have thought that walking into the local bar on a rainy night in late January would change my life forever (and to be honest I thank God for my flatmate who pushed me into going!)

I don’t think I could ever explain how you make me feel but I know that I never want to stop feeling it.
Life before you was mechanical but you’ve changed me for the better. Whether it’s been 8 months, 8 years or 80 years I will always love you. 

'All I mind's losing you.'

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